Today has largely consisted of guru meditation errors. As a result of this, Jacel requires input of tea and Welshcakes as an unorthodox method of exception handling.

I need to start making Welshcakes for people. c.c

Two days until Terr-time! Happy-happy!

Which of these two pictures best represents the way the human race understands existence? Black stands for what we know, white stands for what we don't know.

NB: These are intended to be viewed on a white background. So any overall squareness you may see in the second picture is purely an artifact of the medium.



Poll #1429355
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Which one?

I cannot answer that one.

During my bookstore shopping this weekend, not only did I get this:




But also this:




and as philosophy goes... ;)

I spent Saturday afternoon in the park with a picnic, a play, a smidgin of rain, and approixmately eighteen people, almost all of whom were previously strangers to me. We read A Midsummer Night's Dream, with parts of costumes and props and improvised acting, music, and dancing. It was a rather impressive production under the circumstances, organized by mirrorshard, with some might fine actors participating. I have no idea when I last was involved in any way other than audience in theater; possibly my brief stint as dramaturge when an undergraduate? In this, I played a minor fairy, which gave me more time to watch the rest of it, a cohort to loiter with, and also the fun of having a role in the dance.

Which is how C. came to ask me about Shakespeare, and I come to give you the question on his behalf: Why Shakespeare? "Genius" alone never explains much of anything; PR makes all the difference. What are the major historiographic developments which made his work, in particular, the subject of such modern renown?

I did some business travel last week, and coming back from Frankfurt on Tuesday learned some very valuable lessons.

Frankfurt airport (T2) security has always annoyed me a little, as there is no central security check for all gates. Instead, security is decentralised, with checkpoints for small clusters of gates. So you go through passport control and customs, and hit the shops, but you have no way of knowing how long it will take you to clear security until you get to your gate. Which is mildly annoying and generally leads to me spending less time in the shops/cafe and more hanging around bored at the gate as I'm paranoid about missing my flight. At most other airports, of course, there is a central security check immediately after passport control, and once you're through that, you have access to all shops and all gates.

Now here's what happened to me on Tuesday in Frankfurt: Like a good citizen, I put my bags on the conveyor belt to go through x-ray, I took my laptop out and put in a separate tray, took shoes off - the whole shebang. I then joined quite a long queue to go through the metal detectors. By the time I came out the other side, my bags and laptop had been sitting on the other side of the x-ray machine for a good 5 minutes. I grabbed my bags, took a look at one of the laptops that was sitting there, decided it wasn't mine, waited a bit until the staff confirmed there were no more laptops going through. My laptop wasn't there. I then looked again at the unclaimed laptop that was there. It looked remarkably similar to mine - the outer casing of it was identical to that of mine, bar one small sticker. I must have subconsciously picked up the difference and realised that this wasn't my laptop. But I can see how the other person made the mistake and picked up mine.

Much shouting at security staff later, they finally managed to get supervisor to the gate who then went around all the gates in that cluster getting people to check their laptops. What helped was that the laptop I had had the guy's name as the login, as well as some stickers indicating the company name. Luckily we found the person in question and I got my laptop back.

Things I have learned:

- The security layout at Frankfurt does have some advantages, even if it does leave me less time for shopping/drinking coffee.
- Apparently there is legal precedent in Germany stating that airport security staff are not liable for damage or theft of your possessions as a result of the security check. To my mind this means that I shouldn't let go of my stuff for longer than absolutely necessary, i.e. I only put it on the conveyor belt once they are ready for me to go through the metal detector, and if they pull me aside for a search after the metal detector, I insist that search is performed in way that allows me to see my possessions. Now, imagine the kind of havoc that would cause for Heathrow T5's security, which clearly was not designed with humans in mind. Anyone want to give it a go?

This entry was originally posted at http://elmyra.dreamwidth.org/2003.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Manboobectomy on the 10th August.

I had to grit my teeth and dip into my private insurance - which I have to cover emergencies and ambulance - and get it done privately, thus abandining Medicare.

This has nothing to do with Medicare. It's because the Base Hospital is run by Western Area Health who can't organize a piss-up in a brewery and waste a fortune on admin while doctors and suppliers go unpaid. Medicare, a Federal body, has no say in the running of WAH, which is a State body. The surgeons at the Base Hospital (including my surgeon) wanted to set aside one theatre for emergency operations but WAH decided it would be too much lost revinue and denied their request, adding that if they insisted then the doctor's contracts will not be renewed. So now the Base Hosptial is down to one surgeon and all but essential surgeries are cancelled.

So I have to go private - with increased insurance premiums and excesses and a gap between the doctor's bill and my insurance payment - if I want this to happen this year.

http://www.williamgibsonbooks.com/blog/2009_07_01_archive.asp#408760482017248450

"People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

Often this is given as "Good people..."

I have been unable to source this back to a specific piece of GO's prose. Have encountered the opinion that it is not an actual GO quotation.

Can anyone help? Thanks.

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/07/day-2-of-ala-and-reading-things-aloud.html

Yesterday I had a breakfast with many librarians, then signed was interviewed in front of a crowd by Roger Sutton from Hornbook, signed for happy librarian-folk for three hours, then napped and went off to dinner with the Newbery Award Committee, the sort of dinner where you have each different course at a different table, and talk to everyone. Then I signed books for them (and for a few stray Printz Committee judges, who crept in).

This morning was Dim Sum with Jill Thompson for breakfast (Here is Jill. People always want to know where she got that bag, and she made it herself. I told her she should take orders for them for a ridiculous amount of money.) Then with Elyse Marshall, ace HarperChildren's publicist, to a local studio where I was interviewed for Barnes and Noble, then recorded some paragraphs from Kipling's The Jungle Book, Ray Bradbury's story "Homecoming" and James Thurber's The 13 Clocks. I loved doing them -- B&N will pick one sequence and have it animated and put up online.

Was fascinated by how different the voice of the narrator was in each case -- the voice of the book, and that reminded me that I had not yet answered this, and had meant to:

Neil ~ Thank you for many hours of entertainment, whether I'm reading your works, or you are! My daughter is finding that chapter books are a good thing, and wants me to read them to her. I'm glad to do so, but I'm looking for some suggestions from a masterful book reader (you) to a very coarse book reader (me). How do you keep the character voices straight in your head? I suppose it helps that you know the words particularly well since you wrote them, but any tips or suggestions? Any other pointers for engaging the listener? I know my daughter doesn't mind (she still wants me to read, after all!), but I'd like to be better for her and for me. Thanks and keep up the superb work, both here on the blog and in the offline printed universe! BRIAN

Let's see. Character voices are more or less easy: I sort of cast them in my head as I go. What's the person like? Who do they remind me of?

I'm appalling at doing accents, but not bad at doing people. And mostly you're not even doing impressions, just general brush strokes. How does a person sound? Well, you hold them in your head and generally sound like that.

When dealing with a larger than life story I'll sometimes go for a larger than life cast in my head: In (for example) The 13 Clocks, in my head, when I read it aloud, I tend to cast Marty Feldman as the Golux, and Peter Sellers (doing his Laurence Olivier in Richard the Third impression) as the evil Duke.

It's hard though, in a big book with a lot of characters, some of whom may nip off-stage for seven or eight chapters at a time. Do your best, and have a picture in your head. Borrow from your life. Steal voices shamelessly.

Most important, just do the voices (including the voice of the Book, which may not be your voice exactly, but should be close enough to it that it won't be a strain), and do not be shy. Even at your worst, you're doing better than you would if you didn't do the voices, and kids are a mostly uncritical audience, especially if you do it with confidence.

Read it as if you're telling a story. Read it as if you're interested and you care. And, the biggest and most important one, vary the tune.

I heard a young writer reading some of his own work in public a few weeks ago, and every sentence had exactly the same tune, the sime rising and falling cadences. They all ended on the same note. The beat that ran through the whole passage did not change from first to last. It was hypnotically dull.

Listen to people read who are good at it. BBC Radio 7 and BBC Radio 4 (here's the Radio 4 Readings website)are a great source of an ever-changing series of books and stories, fiction and non-fiction, all read aloud and read aloud well. Listen to the tune, where voices go up or down. Listen to what makes a reader speed up or slow down -- listen to what keeps you interested and where you lose interest. And do it as they do -- change the tune, change the pace, keep interested and it will keep interesting.

But mostly my advice is this: just do it. Enthusiasm and willingness to do it counts for most of it, and you learn by doing it and get better from doing it.

I've been reading in front of audiences now for almost 20 years. I've got significantly better in that time, mostly because I've done it so much. You learn as you go. You get better as you go. Practice makes if not perfect then at least pretty decent.

And that's all.


Except to wish Roz Kaveney happy birthday.

So, I've been behind on Torchwood. I hadn't even quite twigged it was back on until it started surfacing on Twitter last week, and then I was away, so I only caught up on it this weekend. Which given the nature of the beast this time round, was probably a good thing. I wouldn't have wanted to watch that particular series on piecemeal, weekly sort of way.

I must say I absolutely loved Children of Earth, but equally, I keep hoping they find a reset button for that one somewhere because I don't want Torchwood to end, or try to keep going without Jack and/or Ianto. But heck, overall I thought Children of Earth was brilliant.

Things I liked:

- The overall story.
- Some of the moral questions it raised, in episode 4 in particular: overpopulation, infant mortality, how do we go about choosing who to sacrifice, sacrificing the chavs, sacrificing one for the good of many, all that stuff.
- The politics: a PM called Green, politicians' obsession with spin and the short term, the "our children are exempt" shenanigans, a very dark - and not unjustified - view of the British state and government.
- It worked dramatically: it kept me hooked for the full five hours. The creepy children, the interactions between the main characters (Jack/Ianto relationship angst anyone?), the supporting cast, the pacing, the one-liners, it all worked really nicely.
- Lois. Lois was amazing. She so should get a job at Torchwood.

Things I didn't like:

- Ianto dying. On several levels that was deeply wrong. On a personal level, I liked the character, I liked his relationship with Jack. On a political level, I am somewhat fed up with shows killing off the gay characters, because we can't possibly show two men in a stable and loving relationship with each other. Oh, come on!
- The ending was thoroughly Hitch Hiker's Guide, only not funny. Didn't quite work for me.

Really sad that they appear to have killed the show. But contemplating getting a Worldcon membership next year just so I can nominate Day Four for Best Dramatic Presentation Short Form, or possibly the lot for Long Form.

I did a little unofficial weighing of Linnea today (the step on the scale with baby, set baby down and subtract kind) and got a little scared as it came to 21 lbs (9 1/2 kgs)! At 31 weeks that puts her very near the top of the magic redbook curve... Scared but not surprised - I swear she gets heavier overnight, every night! I am hoping Mark will be well enough to take her to baby clinic tomorrow for more accurate measurements. I like putting new dots on her chart and she hasn't been for a few months.

I, on the other hand, have lost 3 kgs in the last month. I guess merely thinking about Broloppet next June is helping me burn calories! Either that, or all the weight lifting!

I finally got rid of the beard (although shaving after not doing it for a good three months feels a bit odd and will require re-learning). I'm quite shocked at how much younger I look without it! People in work have expressed similar surprise, so it must be true.

( Comparison-y! )

---

Operation: Argue with Debian continues apace. Next hurdle is installing Nvidia drivers so shiny things can happen!

So far today I have:

• changed the baby
• Fed myself
• Fed the baby
• danced with the baby
• washed and polished all the windows
• changed the baby
• hoovered the whole flat
• organized (about 75% done) all the books in the bookcases
• changed the baby
• fed the baby
• organized my desktop
• dusted all the furniture
• thought way WAY too much about why what Ian asked me yesterday was important to him, and whether or not I answered correctly (honesty not necessarily equating to correctly)
• danced with the baby
• written a grocery list
• changed the baby
• looked up product code and location of chairs to be purchased on Tuesday
• inquired as to whether there will be a bus running between Cam&Dursley station and Berkeley Castle next weekend
• put the baby in the sling
• contemplated baby bundles of clothing on ebay as Linnea has grown out of all 6-9 month clothing and is now cycling between 5 or 6 outfits which is CRAZY
• reread the Happy Book
• prayed a little, for the washing machine people to actually come on Tuesday
• taken some videos of baby
• pruned my houseplants and thought about acquiring a new one. Eve is thriving, Sam is not so happy. The both need more soil...
• listened to AWFUL music on Radio 1

I wanted to hit Asda's early, early, but I'm not liking the combination of wind/heat/showers. Pram or sling it's not fun weather to trundle back and forth with groceries too. I doubt the forecast will be more useful than 'scattered showers'.

Linnea is taking a nap and I'm considering a snack as breakfast was almost five hours ago...

Afternoon update:

Things left to do today and tomorrow:

• groceries
• ironing
• bathe me
• bathe the baby
• dinner
• scrub stains on carpet
• file papers from the box
• email Grannd email for printing off
  
• look up Sluggy referance for printing off
  
• ring Grannd to complain about item ordered in May and paid for on 28 May and still not received - this was the corset pattern for the corset I was hoping to make before I was back at full time!
• write snail mail to Sluggy to complain about item ordered in March and paid for on 1May and still not received
• look up credit card policy to claim money back in case no joy

(Neither have responded to my emails.)

• wash new muffin cups ready for use ( multi colour silicone ones!)
• wash new glasses
• ring Becky
• buy velcro and devise ingenious freeview/vcr cable and shelf cover using some wrapping paper covered cardboard

I know, a lot of shopping and very hyprocritical of me to be miffed at concerned about Mark for spending what he spent on new games, dvds and a new computer... I know where my finances are at and I'm worried he doesn't.

I have 5 Dreamwidth Codes for anyone who wants one.

An opera about a twelfth-century troubador, directed by someone from the Cirque du Soleil! I had to go.

This modern opera was written in the last ten years. It was her first and, as is sadly often the way of modern opera, none of the melodies were memorable. Still, it's a nicely multi-country confection, with Finnish composer, French libretto, translated into English, which premiered in Salzburg, and just wrapped up four performances in London. It's set in Aquitaine and Tripoli, and has an Italian director who's most famous for working for a Canadian company.

It was a pair of psychological studies of two people who fall into a long-distance relationship over the internet by means of love songs. He is troubador, named for a real historical one from Aquitaine, Jaufré Rudel, who falls in love with the Ideal Woman, once he is told she really exists. She is the Ideal Woman, titled nobility in Tripoli, seduced by the songs he writes. They are connected by a cipher, the Pilgrim, who seems set up to be part news-bringer, part wishy-washy gossip, part ship, and part angel. It ends in cliché, but I'm not sure any ending would have done the premise justice.

The staging seems to be done on the basis of the audience being easily bored. As a result, the 70 minutes that elapsed before intermission seemed far longer, because so much visually had happened. Acrobats, flowing cloths, actors vanishing into the stage. The three main characters each had two acrobat clones. Sometimes, it seemed as if the entire opera was being done by the puppeteers who introduced most scenes with a shadow play. I thought the Ideal Woman was a kind of Japanese female ghost, all long black hair and trailing robes, flopping through the air from above, until she appeared in person, much improved. The visuals were neat, but overdone, chaotic, and often too heavy-handed in their symbolism.

Still - an opera about the twelfth century! And a troubador! With occasional songs sung in Old French!

I was going to make a bolognese today. But apparently I didn't have any beef mince for it, so Improvisational Cooking time!

Four or five rashers of bacon (diced, while still frozen)
Four pickled silverskin onions (which are nearly as good as 'real' onions for flavour, but keep better and are tastier raw) (similarly diced)
A small apple, diced. (seeing a pattern yet?)
A single orange bell pepper, sliced in half, one half diced and the other sliced thinly to be used as a garnish
About half a can of pre-skinned, pre-sliced tomato (because I'm lazy)
Half a can of butter beans, individual beans sliced lengthways (mm)

Bacon fried from frozen in a pan, and when it's just starting to show signs of being cooked having the onion, half of the apple and half of the diced pepper added. Wooshed about for a bit, with a little pepper and a touch of Old Bay seasoning added (thanks, archadia!). Then, tomatos (and associated juice) added and allowed to simmer for ten minutes or so. Finally, beans and the rest of the diced pepper and apple added for a further fifteen minutes of gentle heat to allow them to soften a bit!

Served over fusilli, with lettuce, the leftover sliced pepper and a Terry Gilliam film. Happy dragon. Although I think I'll skin the apple first next time.

(Mm, Sean Connery.)

Me (walking to printer): *impromptu theatre-musical-style dance routine set to Jet's Are you gonna be my girl?*
Everyone else: *stare, bemused*
Me: *realises headphones are on and nobody else can hear the music*

Wow. It was Weapon of Choice all over again c.c

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/07/how-to-play-with-your-food.html

I'm in Chicago right now, for ALA: the annual meeting of the American Library Association. I've been to a couple of them before and have always had a marvellous time -- once, with people like Art Spiegelman and Scott McCloud and Colleen Doran explaining to curious librarians what graphic novels were and why they should have them in their libraries, another time getting to visit New Orleans for the first time Post-Katrina, when I went to two dinners with Poppy Z Brite, and one of them was the first time Poppy's husband, chef Chris DeBarr, ever cooked for me*.

When I was in Melbourne, five years ago, Poppy was a guest of honour with me, and somewhere back then it was decided that we would be going to Alinea, a Chicago restaurant of remarkable coolness. The years went by and I was never in Chicago for long, and Katrina happened, and once Poppy went back to New Orleans she did not want to leave, but we knew one day it would happen.

And tonight it did. Poppy flew up from Chicago and took me to dinner. It was expensive, and, I only discovered at the end of the meal, Poppy was paying. (This is a big public thank you.)

The service and friendliness and sense of enjoyment from the Alinea staff was remarkable. I've had, on rare occasions, food that was as good, and, rarely, I've had food that was better, but I do not ever recall any meal that was as much fun to eat. 23 Courses (hmm, very illuminati) of things that melted or popped or squrunched in your mouth in astounding ways.

I think my favourite not-actually-putting-something-in-my-mouth moment was when the table was covered with bubbling belching dry-ice smoke, and I asked Poppy very nicely if she wouldn't mind saying, "Tonight, my creature, I shall give you Life!" for me, and, bless her, she did.

If anyone reading this is at ALA, I'm doing two signings at the HarperCollins booth 2011, one at 1.00pm on Saturday, the other on 9.00am on Monday (which should have some amusement value). Also a panel on Monday at 1:30pm on the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. The rest of the time is filled with interviews, receptions, speeches and such.

I'm actually here to receive the Newbery Medal for The Graveyard Book. Which will be presented on Sunday night, and for which I have written (and already recorded) a speech. (Which will be played if I forget how to talk on Sunday night. It's possible.)

And I want to thank Harper Collins for indulging me, and keeping up the free version of The Graveyard Book on the mousecircus website all that time. You can still listen to (or watch) me read The Graveyard Book, chapter by chapter, across America, at http://www.mousecircus.com/videotour.aspx. You can also buy it.

(And to answer a sharp-eyed questioner, yes, there are a couple of changes in the latest printing of The Graveyard Book; I fixed an error in astronomy I'd made, and a misspelled foreign word, and fixed some paragraphs in the acknowledgments that were truncated in the original US edition.)


(And that reminds me: yes, I will be at San Diego Comic Con briefly on Friday July 24th, to do a panel with Henry Selick about Coraline, and a one hour signing afterwards. I'll be at the Eisner Awards for a bit that night, then will zoom across town to the Benefit concert that Amanda Palmer and Vermillion Lies are doing for the CBLDF.)




*Chris says people have been asking for "The Mezze of Destruction", the code-phrase that tells him they were sent from this blog, at the Green Goddess, and getting special extras -- restaurant Easter Eggs, as it were, and I have been getting happy messages from people who have eaten there who tried it. And, almost needless to say, lived.


Right. Bed.

Today they made me sit for ID photos. I look hideous in them! I think they use a special lens.

Currently in care

Young southern freetailed bat. She was in a log destined for firewood. When the chainsaw stopped the bat tumbled out of the hollow, having missed the slashing chain o'death by millimetres.I'll keep her until the nights warm a little.

Adult peewee. The bird was tumbled by the wind off a car and injured her wing. It's not broken, but it droops instead of sitting tight against her side when she relaxes A few more weeks in care and she'll be releasable. Maybe.

Adult sulfur crested cockatoo. Someone caught this wild bird and clipped its wings to make it pet. I'm afraid it takes more than clipped wings to make a cocky a pet. Attempt to pat this one and you'll lose blood, and maybe a finger. It will stay in care until it moults and grows new feathers, then I can be rid of it. Bloody thing is dangerous which is why it's previous captors let it go, I suppose.

Pets:

Snowy, my brother's maltese terrier, has blown a cruciate ligament in his left knee. The vet looked the dog in the eyes and said "I'm afraid your days of playing Football are over." Snowy wagged his tail. The dog's tiny weight means he can survive happily without an operation to rectify the problem - just some muscle strengthening will work. A larger dog would need the operation.

Max loves bird seed.

Lying on your back in the sun attracts rabbit-like creatures. Max moves to almost-but-not-quite patting range and flops down beside me.

Polly spends most of her time at Mum and Dad's - they needs a guard dog in the yard. Polly is an utter wuss but she has a go-away bark that has to be heard to be believed.

You're only as good as your last mistake.

Probably the last bit of Torchwood stuff for now, unless I have more to say in the morning.

Don't worry, my life isn't all that exciting, so you're not missing much by way of things I'm not posting because Torchwood ate my brain.

( Cut like cut thing )

PART II: I Do My Best Thinking In The Shower

( This way to spoilers )

Jack Harkness: hair product through the ages.

( cut )